Breathe
When I lived in Bahrain, I attended The Art of Living workshops, Breath work by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, sadly now passed, but his teachings carry on.
We used to meet once a week for an hour to do this practice, it was a lovely, calm, and fun group. These weekly meetings kept me grounded.
I also attended a bi-monthly meditation on a Monday evening. We would have a grounding meditation first for a few minutes, where we would think about how we felt, followed by a longer meditation to release something, love ourselves more, embrace our lives, chuck out the ‘trash’ from the mind, etc. Then we would have a little chat about it or write our feelings down over a cuppa. I loved doing these. My mind was a healthier place.
Since leaving the Middle East 7 years ago, I have been so distracted with the busy pace of life, adapting to a new place to live, schools for the children, my husband getting a new job, commuting, and me just working out where I fitted into it all again, I guess I struggled with various things but not really took a step back to look at myself or ask why.
Needless to say ‘life happened’ there is no pause button, unless we create space in our lives for it.
I had the fortune of meeting and working with the wonderful Charlie Moult 3 years ago in a professional capacity, and when she subsequently moved on from Canterbury we kept in touch.
I am so pleased I did, as her vast knowledge of the body, and how the breath has a direct impact on this, thankfully has led her to set up Source Breath Work with Charlie Moult: https://www.sourcebreathworkwithcharliemoult.co.uk/
Sunday morning was my first Breathe Source morning with Charlie Moult DC. And a few others in our group.
We were asked what we wanted more of: I wrote Creativity
And if there was a feeling we would like to be free of: I wrote Frustration
We started with a bit of centring and movement, freeing up into dancing.
I felt memories I had pushed to the back of my mind coming up as my energy increased. They were happy memories laced with sadness, of people I no longer see due to distance and living in different countries.
I realised living abroad seemed to come more naturally to me. There is definitely a ‘stiff upper’ in this country which somehow closed down this freer, more open side of me.
As the hour continued by following sets of breathing exercises and energy releases I really battled. I felt tearful, woeful, sad, uncomfortable with a big knot in my stomach and my throat.
Searching for the reasons why, I thought maybe it is because I moved around a lot in my life. Getting established, then moving on, this pattern repeating itself over and over. Making and leaving friends.
The mature me seems to worry what others will think, finding and forming friendships much harder. I have been less free, trying to fit in. The happy go lucky, younger me, who could easily create friendships when living abroad and being an expat, seemed a distant memory.
I bought children’s meditation CD’s 5 years ago, as their timings were short, and I recognise how important it is to do. I have listened a couple of times in these past 5 years, however my children listen every night as they go to bed!
I downloaded the app Head Space and managed the 3-minute ones, not sitting with myself though, walking the dogs! Writing this down, I notice a pattern. I find it difficult to sit with myself. I can sit and read a book; but not with myself?!
Finding Mindfulness and meditation very difficult to do here, I have almost denied the time, telling myself there wasn’t any. How many of us do this? Ever asked why? Maybe sit with it and see if you find the answer too. Then acknowledge it and let it go!
Because after this first session, which was uncomfortable for me initially, I now feel great relief to realise it is ok to be me; the natural, open me, and it’s ok not to fit in a box.
I signed up to Breathe Source with Charlie, as I know I can trust her. She is a truly beautiful person from the inside out, with pure energy, a strong sense of who she is, and an ability to appeal across generations. She has certainly found her calling, and I am really pleased I re connected with her via social media.
Breathing can shift your mind set and help heal your body too.
But don’t take my word for it, try it yourself and be comfortable with who you are.
